I got my heart broken on Monday. Joy went to preschool and everything was fine. When I picked her up I asked her, “How did it go today?” And then it happened. She told me, “Ashley did not want to be my friend today.” Ashley didn’t come out and say that she didn’t want to be friends, she just played with someone else. Joy compensated by playing with another little girl, too. (She forgot to ask her name.) (I realize that Ashley might just have wanted to play with someone else because the sky is blue or maybe they were doing another activity that Joy didn’t want to do, but in Joy’s little world, this snub was harsh.) Everything else about the day for her was good.
MY day, however, was shot. The ache in my heart would not go away. I know it’s not possible, or even a good idea, to shield your child from every little hurt. They have to learn their way, learn how to cope, learn how to be flexible, and learn how to be good friends themselves. Sometimes the best way for them to learn how to be a good friend is by being on the receiving end of someone who is not being a good friend. But that doesn’t take away the hurt I felt. Why wouldn’t someone want to be friends with my sweet little Joy? I would want to be her friend if I were in her preschool class! Little girls, man! I know they can be mean. I know they can be snotty. I just guess I didn’t remember that it started that early. I keep warning Hubs, who only wanted little girls, to just wait for junior high school. Girls get mean around that age. And even if we can instill some kindness and empathy in ours so they aren’t the mean ones, they may still be the targets.
I guess I need to start bracing myself, and start teaching my girls the best way to get along with others…or at least how to handle it if someone hurts them.
In the meantime, I’ll just keep nursing my broken heart. I would keep nursing Joy’s, too, but I think she has forgotten all about it…at least until Wednesday when she goes back to school. My plan of attack is to kill her little friend—with kindness, people! (I’m not one of those cheerleading moms who puts a hit out on kids to get my own on the squad! Come on!) I am going to make a cute little scrap-booky card to give to Ashley’s mom to invite them over for a play date in the near future. Joy liked this idea. I hope it works. I want Joy to be sweet and kind—I don’t want to have to teach her how to kick a$$ and take names. OK, I wouldn’t really do that. I’ll just sing her “Baby Mine” and hopefully it will convey how I feel to her. Here are the words:
Baby mine, don't you cry
Baby mine, dry your eyes
Rest your head close to my heart
Never to part, baby of mine
Little one when you play
Don't you mind what they say
Let those eyes sparkle and shine
Never a tear, baby of mine
If they knew sweet little you
They'd end up loving you too
All those same people who scold you
What they'd give just for
The right to hold you
From your head to your toes
You're not much, goodness knows
But you're so precious to me
Cute as can be, baby of mine
Posted by The Editor for Busy Body.
It starts young...and it never gets any better. Watching your child get hurt or just hurting is the worse kind of pain.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you sweet lady.
Reminds me of my daughter when she was in 2nd grade (1975). She never stopped talking about "Andy". It was "Andy did...", "Andy said...", "Andy likes me...", "Me and Andy played together...", on and on. It never let up for weeks. One day, my wife and I were at school with our daughter. Suddenly she said, "Oh look! There's Andy!" She pointed to a child on the sidewalk coming our way with his mom. "Hello, Andy!" she said.
ReplyDeleteAndy acted like he never even saw or heard her. He just marched on by like a little man with a mission.
Our daughter was crushed. I personally wanted to immediately remove Andy from the gene pool. My wife restrained me. I spent the rest of the day plotting some sort of revenge against "Andy".
However, as much as both of us were hurt at the time, both of us also got over it. As we know, these things are a part of life, a part of growing up, and a lesson for us, parent and child, to take into the future.
Aaw, you're very sweet to be so concerned for her! Hopefully, they'll be playing together again soon :)
ReplyDelete