Potty Talk

Joy is at that point in her potty training where she can do everything all by herself, except wipe when she has a bowel movement. OK, so this isn’t the most pleasant topic to be talking about, but it’s not really about Joy—she just reminded me of something…

When I was about Joy’s age, I too was at the same point in my potty training, but I didn’t want to/couldn’t/wouldn’t wipe myself. Gigi was usually close by and I could just call her. When I was that age we lived in a very small apartment, so anywhere in the apartment was close. This situation became slightly more problematic, however, when we went to visit Grandma and Grandpa. Their house was bigger and little more spread out—and they were there and could hear me calling, and chances are, they would know what I was calling about. I had a real dilemma.

Lucky for me, my big sister, the Editor, was there to save me from excruciating embarrassment. She was either in Kindergarten or First Grade and she was a woman of the world. She knew how to handle these delicate situations. And she was smart. She was very, very smart. So one day, my hero, my protector, took me under her wing and offered to help me out.

She said, “BB, when you have to call Mom, and you don’t want everyone to know that you need to be wiped, you should spell bottom. Lots of people don’t know how to spell it, but if they do, then they will think you are smart.” And there it was—my saving grace. That very day she taught me how to spell bottom. And the very next time we went to Grandma and Grandpa’s house, sure enough, I had an opportunity to use my newly learned information.

I went into the bathroom, did my business, then in my best and clearest and loudest big-girl voice I called to Gigi, “Mo-om! Come wipe my B-U-T-T!”

I didn’t know Gigi could run so fast. I think she was afraid I was going to yell it again. (I am told that Grandma and Grandpa (and probably the Editor) thought it was hysterically funny. They laughed until they cried, and possibly until they needed their b-u-t-ts wiped. When Gigi explained it to me, I didn’t think it was quite so funny.

I am getting nervous, however…although Joy just politely calls, “Mommy, I need your help!” she is almost 3 years older than Marlo. When it’s Marlo’s turn to be potty trained, I am keeping my fingers crossed that her big sister doesn’t think of any ways to help her out. Oh, the joys of motherhood!

And by the way, Ed—thanks, Smarty-Pants, for giving me a potty mouth while I was on the potty. I owe you one for that!

Note from The Editor: What? I was only trying to make it easy for you to spell. B-U-T-T is much shorter than B-O-T-T-O-M, at least I knew there were two T's on the end (unlike Richard Ramos in Kindergarten who would look at the National Geographic and laugh when he said the word "but") you should be glad that I didn't know to give you an even shorter word to spell (starts with A, ends with $)!

...I laughed really hard again while reading this and Bubba came into the room and said, "What's so funny?" and I said, "Oh, it's funny words." (not wanting to relay the story at this point in time) and he said, "What words? Sprickty-boop? Ha, ha, that IS funny!"



Posted by The Editor for Busy Body